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You can't take anything with you except the love I have for you - Scars

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February 25th, 2005


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09:04 pm - You can't take anything with you except the love I have for you
K so I am in the weirdest mood. I can't figure out how to feel right now. I feel like I want to cry, but not really sad cry, just to cry because it's been a long time since I cried. This is going to make no sense, but...I know that I'm leaving behind things I'm not ready to leave, and I'm moving on when I want to stay still. Or go back. Or I really don't know. I miss things I'm trying not to miss. But at the same time it's good to miss what's gone, because it helps me remember that it's gone, and not coming back. And it's nice to know that some people feel the same way about me as they did the day I left. It reminds me that I don't have to leave everyone behind. What can I do? I'm surprisingly calm about it. Friends come and go. I've lost quite a few over my life. And I still fucking love every single one of them. That doesn't go. Every one of them was different. But in the end, the goodbyes were all the same.

...The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same
Love is so short, forgetting is so long....

Now I'm done not making sense. I think it probably made some sense to the people that matter anyway.

Yeah so today in psychology we played these computer game thingys. And it was like 250 trials of trying to get a smiley face to appear...I could explain it but it'd be way boring. When we're done everyone's sitting around and Alan asks if we all figured it out. And everyone's like, "Yeah. You had to do variable on green and repetition on yellow." And I didn't figure it out. And I was trying so hard. Everyone else did. But here's the kicker...the rats did the same trials, only with food instead of smileys, and they all figured it out too. Yup. I'm apparently dumber than a rat. I guess it's not news.

I have to come up with $1,000 to take bio at PSU in the summer. Good luck with that, me.
Current Mood: indescribableindescribable
Current Music: You by VAST

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